SECRETS I WANT TO HEAR
(inspired by The15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership) I commit to sourcing approval, control, and security from inside of myself.
Often, life can feel threatening. Not in a physical way, but as a threat to our ego, our self identity. Like herd animals, we look to others to help us define what to do and what not to do. We want security in the crowd; to belong and feel safe. I remember when my son was 8… I was homeschooling, and a neighbour, seeing him around all day, was mad (so mad) at me. “How dare you homeschool your child? What do you think we have schools for? It’s people like YOU that …” I was shocked and, at the time, was unable to find reason for his outburst. Later, I realized I had messed with his sense of ‘safety in the crowd’. I was an anomaly; confusing the boundaries of his reality.
In the book, 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, the writers share that our ego wants three things: Approval: - to be liked - to be loved - to be valued - to be respected Control: - of people (so that they will be ‘a way’, act ‘a way’, or do things ‘a certain way’ - of circumstances (like the weather, traffic… etc.) Security: - to feel safe in any given moment
The wanting of security is the most basic core desire. It is at the root of every need. Most of us believe that we are a separate self that has a beginning and an end (birth and death). This freaks us out. We want to live and not die. This fear is at the core of every human behaviour. So we ‘run from death’ by seeking financial prosperity, occupational success, material wealth and relationships. Often, we look out to the world outside ourselves to make us feel ok. We investigate people, things, media, news… and we watch. For instance, I get frustrated with my granddaughter who is constantly measuring herself against others: wanting to see what to wear, what activities are ‘cool’, what food to bring in her lunch box…. What she doesn’t know is, that the world ‘out there’ is fleeting. She will never be satisfied looking for approval, control and security outside of herself. I was told get a degree, get married and have kids... So I did. But my kids moved away and I have been married 4 times… “Fleeting”, I say!
Please note that there is nothing wrong with wanting approval, control and security. This is a natural state of humanity. Often, when we think or feel it is missing, though, we act out in obviously unhealthy or manipulative ways. We live from a place of ‘lacking’, of ‘not having’, and we attempt to fill our 'empty void' at any cost. Researcher, Brené Brown, has said, “We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in history”. Our tactics aren’t working.
New Thought teacher, Emma Curtis Hopkins, wrote, “There is Good for me and I ought to have it. Everything moves and waits for its Good. The Good draws everything. All that you are, all that you do and say, is determined by the Good you seek.”
Here’s the trick: if we don’t go into the future or the past, if we don’t go ‘out there’ to ‘them’, or to ‘it’, if we can stand still and be quiet long enough to know, we will see that in this moment, right here and now, there isn’t anything missing.
Activist Lynne Twist teaches about three societal lies, the first one being: “There isn’t enough”. Here is the Truth: We lack nothing in this moment.
The practice, is to know in this NOW moment, that there is enough. There is enough love, acceptance and approval. It is never something we need to ‘go get’. Everything that needs to be under control … IS. The Good I am seeking is HERE.
I grew up with a pool in my back yard. I was born a better swimmer than my parents. Diving, running and playing around and in the pool was so much fun in the summer. And then I went to a public pool… “No running on the deck” “No diving” “Small, unaccompanied children must stay in shallow end” WHAT A BORE! I thought public pools sucked, but if I wanted to play with my friends I needed to find a way.
At first, I argued with the lifeguards and wanted the pool to adjust to my needs. I wanted them to change so I could fit in and feel a part of the group in my way. It wasn’t long before I realized this wasn’t going to happen. In the end, I knew I was a great swimmer. I decided I could accept me, which helped me to accept ‘them’. From there, my ‘wants’ resolved and I just had fun with my friends.
Right now, right here, we have everything we need. We are secure, regardless the size of our bank accounts, the number of friends, or the social engagements we have lined up… When we come back to the present moment, we have the experience of approval, control and safety. Breathe in and out consciously, and wake up to the present in a non-reactive, non-triggered way.
This does not mean we can escape pain. When Life happens, our bodies and hearts can ‘break’. Pain in life is not optional, but sufferingis…. As long as we keep seeking and wanting something we believe we don’t have, we suffer.
The secrets I want to hear are the thoughts of Truth I choose to tell myself. I have the power to decide which thoughts to give air time to. I can choose to source approval, control and security from the inside, in this present moment, and remember that the Good I am seeking is found within myself.
What if everything in this moment in your life is actually whole, perfect and complete?
UPCOMING for YOU!
PRACTICE THE PRESENCE: Meditation (In Person - Outside) Sunday mornings from 11:00 am - Noon PT
An hour of guided meditation and a unique form of non-linear, yogic "dialogue" sharing, in inspiring locations that change each week. NEWCOMERS WELCOME. NO EXPERIENCE OR SPECIAL EQUIPMENT NECESSARY. Dress for the weather in a way that will be comfortable for you, and bring something to sit on, if you like. This week, Oct. 17th, we'll be outside again, in Cambridge Neighbourhood Park (732 Cambridge Drive) in Campbell River. CLICK HERE to link to our website events page
CHANGE YOUR THINKING, CHANGE YOUR LIFE: Mindfulness Course 5 Mondays. Starts Nov 02, 2021. 6:30 - 8:30 pm (In-person & Online)
Ready to shift your relationships, finances, health and more? This 5 session course is a great opportunity to re-focus before the end of the year and finish off 2021 strong. (No pre-requisites required. GREAT FOR NEWCOMERS). Pre-registration is required - please visit our website to sign up. CLICK HERE to link to our website events page. $125 exchange requested. (All proceeds go to charity) (Money back guarantee).
WYRD WOODLANDS: A FOREST FANTASY (In Person/ Outside) Saturday Oct. 30th, from 7:00 pm - 8:00 pm PT
A strange and wondrous journey that you don’t want to miss - in the forest, after dark. Come and take part in the fantastical sounds, sights and performances on this dancing/walking tour. (SPACES FILLING FAST) Taking place in the Beaver Lodge Lands. Space is limited. Pre-registration is required to save your spot and reserve a headset. Minimum $25 per person donation requested, with all proceeds going to charity. CLICK HERE to link to our website events page for registration and payment (you may also e-transfer to firstname.lastname@example.org, if you prefer ). Please make a note of what your payment is for.
Invitation to TRANSFORMATION
TRANSFORM Your Experience… PRACTICE
~ Close your eyes. ~ Think of something you want. Blurt it out in your mind and/or write it down. ~ Ask: Could I welcome this wanting? Could I simply allow this wanting to be here just as it is? ~ Ask: Is the desire coming from security, approval or control? (listen to the answer in your heart) ~ Ask: Could I welcome the wanting, just let it be here? ~ Ask: Could I let this wanting go, just for now, just in this moment as best I can? ~ Ask: Could I rest for this moment as that someone which is beyond all wanting? Just for this moment? ~ Journal about your experience.
TRANSFORM Your Experience… ASK A PRACTITIONER
Dear Practitioner: “I have really screwed up, and let other people down and now I feel like a loser. I don’t know what to do with myself” Answer: (We have moved Ask a Practitioner to a video format. Please check out our video with this week’s response on the Centre’s Facebook, Instagram or Twitter feeds). CLICK HERE to link to the video on Facebook. We now also have episodes up on our YouTube Channel - please head over there to like, share and subscribe! Click Link We welcome any questions you might like to submit for this segment, and, for extra uplift, a reminder that we offer free affirmations upon on request, through our Practitioner email: email@example.com. (We also offer one-on-one sessions for anyone who would like a more targeted support or coaching).
TRANSFORM Your Experience… SERVICE:
Volunteer: We are always in need of volunteers for this and that, and we are grateful to each and every one of you!! This week we’d like to thank all the amazing donors who provided us with prizes for our “So You Think You’re A Riverite? Challenge”. Huge appreciation to: Pedal Your World, Sweet Balance Massage, Primal Athletics, Westcoastees, Healthyway, Dogwood Pet Mart, CR Garden Centre, Club Fitness, Home Brew Factory and Wine Boutique, Swicked Cycles, Strathcona Regional District, Strategic Resource Consultants, Valhalla Pure Outfitters
Also our October Auction is now live! Yvonne will be out and about around town with her little table selling tickets in various places the weeks to come. Look for her at Quality Foods this Friday, the 15th, between 11am and 7pm (There are beautiful prizes to be won… so why not spread the word to friends and family… purchase a bunch of tickets and help charity, while getting yourself in line for a chance at some awesome holiday presents at the same time!)
We’re planning lots more activities, always being creative about how to still offer uplifting programming, even with provincial restrictions in place. So, if you have any special skills you think might be of use, we’d love to hear about them! Simply contact the office (firstname.lastname@example.org). We’ll point you in the right direction. (NEXT UP: “Wyrd Woodland”… we may need some help with that. Contact Collette).
Bright Ideas: How about some fun activity ideas? Got any of those that you’d like to share? Once again, our office is the best first point of contact: (email@example.com)
Please also check us out and subscribe to our Youtube Channel! Click here to visit
TRANSFORM Your Experience… ABUNDANCE IN ACTION
Charitable Giving: The Centre is a registered charity that is wholly sustained through the generosity of folks like you. Thank you! Your contributions mean that, even in the times we are in, we are still able to offer classes, events and individual support, and to continue our practice of giving to other charities in need within our community as well. (For any donation of $25 or more, you will be issued a tax receipt, but every bit of generosity helps, no matter the amount or the form it comes in). Use the donate button on this website, or you can e-transfer to firstname.lastname@example.org. Reminder, too, that a Thrifty’s SMILE card can be used to donate to the Centre, as well as the empties you take to the Recycling Depot!
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