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A Conversation About Power

“The riddle is solved… we all use the power of the Universal mind every time we use our own mind[s]”

~ Ernest Holmes (The Science of Mind Collection)

Power is a spiritual attribute. It is one that I have spent years growing to understand. My “story” has been that people misuse ‘power’ to hold others down, and I didn’t want to be ‘one of those people’. So, as a result, I gave away my own power, time and time again, without realizing what I was doing.

After many years of me being in unhappy relationship, a dear friend handed me a book. I thought the book’s topic had nothing to do with me but, ‘to be polite’, I decided to open its pages and see what it had to say. It was called, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship”. In it, the author, Patricia Evans, defined verbal abuse as,

“…withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, diverting, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, lying, berating, taunting, put downs, abuse disguised as a joke, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging.”

I read on….

“Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie, told to you, or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth”. Evans’ description of the dynamics of a verbally abusive relationship was, “usually one person is blaming, accusing, even name calling, and the other is defending and explaining.”

Boom! I felt like I had been hit across the head, and awakened from a slumber. I found Evans’ work to be so interesting, as it revealed to me the subtleties of my having grown up in the sort of home environment which was echoed in her writing. I had no idea that I had been hardwired to expect this sort of treatment as normal. Wow!

When I first read the book, about 12 years ago (and was blown away), what I found most revealing was Evans’ explanation of the difference between living from “Personal Power” versus “Power Over”. Let me explain…

I have been inspired to ‘work on myself’ from quite a young age. It is my nature to observe the world, myself, and my surroundings. I also have a desire to make life better for everyone. That long and winding journey of discovery has brought me to studying and practicing New Thought principles, like those that are outlined in the book, The Science of Mind. Here are the highlights:

  1. There is One Infinite Intelligence/Energy present everywhere… It is in everything and everyone

  2. Our thoughts are carried forward into manifestation… they become our experience of daily living

  3. When we change our thinking, we can change our lives

WOW! What a revelation… I learned that I can help people make their life experiences better, by teaching them tools for waking up to old thoughts and beliefs that they might be holding onto, either consciously or unconsciously. I learned that I can demonstrate how their ‘beliefs’ are really only “stories’ that they are telling themselves… and that, at any time, they can change their stories to create new and better situations. (Easy to type, perhaps… but it is an ongoing practice, I know).

In our society today, the type of self-reflective work I am talking about is often called ‘claiming our personal power’. Through it, we come to understand that we are in the driver’s seat of our own lives; that we are not ‘at the effect of’ others, or of random life circumstances. We can bring any attitude we choose to every opportunity that presents itself. We are always ‘in choice’ and, by exercising this choice, we are self-empowered to make the changes we desire.

Nobody else can ‘do life’ for us. Even if we surround ourselves with a supportive team of friends and family, in the end, it is up to us to make changes in our lives, by ourselves. (Cool!)

The tricky part that I realized about my own thoughts was, I presumed everyone was viewing life from the same perspective I was. I thought everyone realized that true power comes from within. So, when I was living with a partner who had no idea what I was talking about, and was in the search of the sort of ‘power’ that is imposed through being bigger and stronger, I found myself slowly feeling more and more demoralized. Day by day, I became more and more unhappy, with absolutely no idea what was at the root of it. Some people around me knew what the difficulty was, and they tried to tell me, but I didn’t believe them. (So. Much. Denial).

Considering “Power Over” versus “Personal Power” makes for such an interesting conversation. Our present societal climate offers lots of opportunities to feel surrounded by the misuse of power. The best examples I can think of are to be found in pretty well any political debate. In my observation, so many opportunities for real dialogue in political conversations are wasted in favour of discrediting one’s opposing candidates. ‘Debates’ become ‘pissing battles’ and, in the end, we learn and gain nothing from the exercise.

I really don’t have too much more to say about the issues…. Rather, what I am seeking to do is to shed light on the bigger conversation for you.

We are all immersed in a field of spiritual power that is just waiting to be claimed by each of us. I invite you to join me in picking up the reins. Let’s drive the lives of our experience in the directions that bring about the most fulfillment for us!

When you are happy and on your right path, that can’t help but to be what is also needed for everyone around you. Collectively, personally empowered people tend to make better decisions for themselves, and that, then, has a ripple effect out into the wider world.

Let’s BE the change that we envision!

~ I encourage you to each out and share your experience with power: both with regard to owning your own, and around how that shows up in community with others.

~ You might want to journal your thoughts, and to then share with those in your trusted circle of friends and family. Then, if you’d like to, we’d also love to hear about your experiences and insights too! You can contact us via: (admin@the

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