Make Another Feel Loved
Updated: Oct 1, 2021
What can you do today to make another feel loved?
I am inspired by the message from the podcast, A Bit of Optimism, with Simon Sinek, when he was interviewing Tim Shriver, in an episode called, Learning to Love.
I believe we know what it means to understand love, feel love, and share love… BUT…
We live in a world where we are obsessed with ‘self help’ and ‘self improvement’ books… as though we can find fulfilment by ourselves. This approach has taken us down a lonely path. The ‘self’ help industry continues to grow, often without lasting results. It’s similar to how the diet ‘industry’ is actually making obesity worse. We need to build back trust in one another. At The Centre, we do this by living through the principles of Science of Mind and putting them into practice with each other. We can practice this in many ways, a favourite being leaning into the methods found in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership (Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman & Kaley Warner Klemp), or Dare to Lead (Brené Brown) or … there are many more.
Imminent crises, like those brought about by tornados or hurricanes, tend to bring people together. But, when there isn’t an imminent threat uniting us, the tendency is to find common purpose through seeking to define some other common enemy. Although this type of self-created ‘crisis’ may seem to offer a kind ‘belonging’ at first, it actually erodes community because the ‘belonging’ comes about through exclusion and demonization. We are hardwired for belonging but there is no true belonging when we weaponize the mistakes and differences of others as a way of condemning and shaming further. This approach leads only to division, hostility, and entrenchment. This doesn’t work. It never did. We have to create a common purpose without a common enemy. This is what we aspire to do at The Centre, “so that all of life flourishes through wellness, self expression and empowerment”. But, visions like ours are ethereal. They live in our ‘imagination’. An ‘enemy’ is something or someone we can see, so it seems an easier and more efficient way to come together.
But, as the old Cherokee story teaches, about ‘the good wolf’ and the ‘bad wolf’, the one that wins is the one we feed. “Today our bad wolf is fully fed, lying in the corner burping while our good wolf is emaciated,” says Simon. It is necessary to feed the good wolf… that part of us that hungers for oneness and togetherness, without making someone the enemy. We want to belong… we don’t have to hate to belong.
Where are the ‘help others’ books? We actually need to give ourselves away in order to get our best selves in return. This is risky business, but, when we hold fast through that sound barrier of ‘unknown territory’, we hit a vitality we haven’t experienced before. Overcoming the fear of ‘difference’ takes effort; we have to work harder, and… the benefits are always exponential. You have the right to be happy; I believe we all want others to be happy too, but we have to put ourselves in the game.
As an example, Desmond Tutu laughs as he moves through life not because he has had it easy, but because he has been treated brutally and moved through it. He took chances on people who were horrible to him and forgave them. He knows pain and he has transformed it. Each of us, too, has a responsibility to have a positive impact on the world around us. I want to learn what it takes to make another person feel what it is to be loved. Our new world begins with me and you.
Our desire to feel love and belonging is innate. The skills for this are not innate. It is a constant education and we have to practice so that the muscle doesn’t atrophy; go weak. Begin, and continue, the deliberate, conscious, creative practice of “US”. One way to do this is to enrol in our classes and workshops. Another is to log into our groups and meetings. Feel the edges of your comfort zone, and grow through them into a new tomorrow. You will be glad you did… and so will I. 😉
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PRACTICE THE PRESENCE: Meditation (In Person - Outside) Sunday mornings from 11:00 am - Noon PT An hour of guided meditation and a unique form of non-linear, yogic "dialogue" sharing, in the beauty of nature. NEWCOMERS WELCOME. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. Taking place this week, Sept 12, at Oyster Bay Park, in Campbell River. (Check for us on the beach beyond the rise - you may have to come to the top of the rise at the seashore to see us). Dress for the weather and bring something you will be comfortable sitting on for an hour - it may be a bit damp. (We suggest you give yourself plenty of time to arrive and settle in). CLICK HERE to link to our website events page
LEAN IN LOCK IN: Deep Experiential Workshop (In Person - Inside) Note New Timing Saturday Sept 11th, from 11:00 am - 4:00 pm PT (PRE-REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED) COMING UP THIS SATURDAY! Last chance to register! A unique opportunity for a deep-dive into profound, life-shift exercises. Are you ready to go to the next level of personal growth and uplift? Are you ready to be nurtured along the way? Why wait any longer? Bring you own food to keep you going through the day. Once you arrive, the group will stay together for the duration. All breaks will take place onsite. CLICK HERE to link to our website events page
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