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  • Writer's pictureJill Brocklehurst

The Isolation Remedy

“You only are free when you realize you belong no place

— you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great… .”  

(Maya Angelou)


We all have a need to belong. It is deeply ingrained in our psyches and our biology. Our survival depends on it for so many reasons (like the strength that can be found in numbers).


Popular cultural responses to the need for belonging have resulted in the creation of community centres, clubs and other groups of a sort that seem to meet that need. As I ponder this today, however, I can’t help but to conclude that Society is missing the mark.


Yes, I agree that ‘connection’ through gathering plays a useful role, but perhaps it is only a stopgap measure, rather than being a true remedy for loneliness. There are 8.2 billion people in the world, and we are each unique; with different needs and desires. It only makes sense that it would be virtually impossible to meet the needs of everyone through one method.


I want to suggest a completely different idea; to offer a progressive and daring model for consideration. In her quote, above, author Maya Angelou spoke to what I am referring to. The “high price” she mentioned, I believe, refers to the unshielded, deep work required to feel a true sense of ‘belonging’. “The reward is great”… of course.


Once we realize that the deeper relationship we have always been longing for has been the one we have with our own selves all along, we are ready to do the healing, self-love work.


With the expanded inner confidence that comes from self acceptance, we can then relax into every moment… with any person… in any place. I have had touchstone experiences where this has been true for me, and I will let you know… the sense of freedom I felt was worth every scary, vulnerable process I went through to get there.

Every person has an inner longing to connect to their own Magnificence. We are here in this lifetime to remember that we are already “enough”… right now, and in every moment. We are part of Nature… it is our calling to express as fully as a bird does through song… ‘just because’.


The only reason those of us who reach mid-life may ‘have a crisis’, regardless of all our outer achievements, is that we still feel empty somewhere inside. So many people, thinking that they are ready to retire and ‘live the good life’, struggle. This is because it turns out that they have lost their sense of connection with who they are and what they really love. They have lost themselves.


I have had the privilege of doing deep inner work with many people over the last 20 years. Some on the journey have begun the work tight, closed, and afraid. Over time, though, I have witnessed these terrified souls relax into themselves, to the point where a glow seems to emanate from within them. Everyone around them can see the change. Their shoulders have dropped, they have begun to grin and laugh with more ease, and they are able to open up and share in ways that they never would have dreamed of before.


Now, a particular study group that someone may have felt a transformation within will eventually end… and off the student will go…. but it won’t be over. They will continue on into their lives, taking their re-enlivened self confidence to the other places they already belong. Their inner discoveries, and their changed and expanded selves will now act as a point of deeper connection within all the other aspects of their lives. Where once their experience may have been one of disconnection and isolation, they now are able to experience something more fulfilling… whether it be it with family, friends or co-workers.


Many years ago, metaphysician Ernest Holmes was a successful speaker, sharing his philosophical understandings with large gatherings. I imagine there were those in attendance who experienced positive life changes as a result of hearing Holmes speak, and that they were thrilled to go away afterwards and share their experiences.


But how?


At that time (around 1950), if an idea began and the listeners liked what they heard, there was a narrative of “you belong here”. Churches and Centres would  pop up as formal, organized communities of like-thinking people, and these spiritual communities served an important role in people’s lives. Now, however, the diminishing membership in such institutions seems to be telling a different story.


Perhaps this trend is a reflection of an overwhelmed, over-entertained population… (leading to statistics that show depression and isolation growing). I feel that something new is wanting to be birthed. I know there must be another way to meet the need to ‘belong’.


I want to propose that, although defined groups can serve some purpose, the only true and solid remedy for a sense of isolation (and the only path to true belonging) lies within ourselves… through ongoing, vulnerable self-discovery.


That being said, I believe the application of our Science of Mind philosophies… really digging deep in order to fully live the principles… is an inside job that can’t really effectively be done alone. We are better served when we reach out and do it together.


I know that the deeper we go, the greater the rewards are, in every way. And what are the rewards? Ease and freedom on the path of a meaningful life.



I BELONG TO MYSELF,

BUT YOU CAN BORROW ME SOMETIMES.

@tehakassim



PLANT the SEED


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