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  • Writer's pictureJill Brocklehurst

Vulnerability Anyone?

“We have to find our way back to one another (and ourselves) or fear wins. It is not going to be easy. Like all meaningful endeavours, it is going to require vulnerability and the willingness to choose courage over comfort.”

~ Brené Brown, Braving The Wilderness

I sat in the front row, taking in every moment of the Retirement Gala event for Drs Kenn and Deborah Gordon at the Kelowna Centre for Spiritual Living. The musicians began playing a heartfelt song, and Deborah was unable to hold back tears. Well, that got my waterworks started, and they flowed, and flowed, and flowed throughout. What you need to know is that Deborah and Kenn are my teachers, mentors and very dear friends. Later that day, Deborah referred to me as her “crying buddy”.

While I was in this experience, I paid close attention to my inner dialogue. It was a kaleidoscope of thoughts and emotions. Phew, I was jumping around from deep love and appreciation, to self-condemnation and fear. I was diligent with my inward attention, though. By the end of it all, I had a mild headache, a tear drenched face, red eyes and a red nose.

The feelings I had were real… but they were also a response to the stories I made up in my mind. Finding my way through the quagmire of drama, willing to decipher what was beneath the narratives that didn’t serve me, was good heart work. I am sure we can all agree, that thoughts of self-loathing and isolation are not founded in facts, and are illogical. But oh, the desire inside me to fight for their validity as truth…. WOW!

I am listening to Michelle Obama’s book, The Light We Carry, and she provides me with the confidence that I am not alone in this horrifying personal storm. She shares how it is work and practice to develop a relationship with such voices; hearing them, but not giving them a lead role. Negative voices will always be with us, but we don’t need to put them in charge. So, I enter my daily practice to rise up and own my true spirit… my connection to an Infinite Power and Wisdom. I rise up and am determined to keep the high watch, mindful of what I know to be facts (spiritual principles)… and then, I observe Possibility opening before me.

It is important to note that this heart work is hard work… really hard work. The ‘inner assailant’ is ferocious. Bypassing… or holding hands with these voices, hearing them, and even loving them for what they are?…. Well, the bypass certainly feels better in the short run. But, if we don’t ‘out’ those voices, those inner personas, then they will definitely be working in the background without our awareness, and that will create situations in our lives that reflect those inner stories. Letting our inner assailants run free can lead to relationship heartache, job disappointments, health struggles and financial hardships. Yup, it’s true.

Here is my invitation: I know, I KNOW… it doesn’t feel safe to uncover our pain… but I invite you to do it anyway. You can do it… perhaps not alone, but with groups like ours… in workshops, classes and retreats. It is a beautiful and powerful experience to be in rooms with others who are also willing to lean in and deepen. Why, just last month, I watched a committed fellow journey person brave the pain of their own stories, reveal the falsehood of an inner message they had carried for years and, within a few short days, step into a new experience of fun and love in relationship. I am telling you, the hard work IS worth it, in every way!

The time has come to ready yourself to feel all your feelings, and to know that the stories fuelling them are just that… “stories’. We can uncover them, look into them for their untruths, and then step into guiding Principles (which, by the way, are WAY more loving, affirming and powerful).

“There is a Power for Good in the Universe greater than you, and you can use It.” ~Ernest Holmes, Living the Science of Mind

This week, the time has come to stop simply talking about doing the work. ~ Find a class, a workshop or retreat that calls to your soul.

~ Make a commitment.

~ Sign-up, and grow into your great life.

~ Remember, all the time, that it’s about the practice, not about “perfection’.

We have classes you might like to check out: Follow this link for more info

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